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I was thinking about running for mayor or City Council but I don’t have any unpaid taxes. I guess I’m not eligible.
I propose they name the Columbia sewer plant after E.W. Cromartie, the councilman.
Now that E.W. Cromartie has resigned as councilman, maybe he’ll talk to the Free Times. I wonder if his prison roommate will be named Bubba.A unique and original LaRoque dress for the Cup isn’t so unique and original if every girl is wearing one, now is it?
I’m sick of people making fun of me when I’m driving and picking my nose. If I can’t do it in the car, when can I do it?
This is a rave to the dead turkey on the intersection between I-26 and I-20. That thing has been there for like three months. That is amazing that it still has the entire body and all the feathers. I love it.
Why are they showing four-leaf clovers instead of shamrocks — which are three leaves and one stem — for St. Patrick’s Day (March 10)? I’m second-generation born Irish and it’s like a knife in your heart. It’s a shamrock, not a four-leaf clover.
To the person that got mad at Eva Moore for reviewing a Chick-fil-A sandwich (March 3): How do you no longer care about a person’s opinion but also appreciate it? I was wondering. It doesn’t make sense. Mmmm. And Chick-fil-A sandwiches are delicious.
As a white male, I would just like to say that I always spend my tax refund check (March 10) sensibly — on booze and hookers.
Dear Census Bureau: In 2020, please don’t mail me a letter telling me to check my mail next week for my census form. If I got your letter by checking my mail, I would’ve gotten your form anyway, right?
To the person who complained about Columbia’s potholes, you’ve obviously never been up North. I have to say that I am so tired of people complaining about South Carolina. I have lived in several states, and I really like it here, minus the religious fervor. If you’re not happy here, then stop complaining and move somewhere else!
Here’s a suggestion for all you NIMBYs and eco-weenies whining about big corporations and evil developers building something you don’t like on your personal slice of serenity. Quit your b#!chin’ and buy the property! Then you can preserve it or develop it into something you find acceptable. Put your money where your mouth is, damn it! Wheeler Hill, Hollywood, Rose Hill, Heathwood, Lake Katherine, Wood Creek, et al, y’all listening?
I TOTALLY agree about the ID card Nazis at Blatt gym (March 10)!!! Someone had to say it. I also notice that if you’re female you tend to get in if you accidentally don’t have your card, but be a male ... dang. No soup for you!!!! Don’t make me picket. Other than that, the brunette that works weekends can wipe my sweat up anytime.
Thanks USC for showing us yet again how little you really care for your staff members! The only pool on campus that we have free access to will be closed for three months — but we’re welcome to buy a membership to the Strom Thurmond Center! Exactly how are we supposed to afford that when we haven’t had a cost of living raise since 2007? Oh, wait, we did get a 1 percent increase in 2008 but guess what? You’d have to make $36,000 per year for your 1 percent raise to pay for a membership at the Strom Thurmond Center!
This rave is to all the USC students cheering on the team. Great job at the basketball games. Excellent job at the football games. Now, how about coming and cheering on the baseball team?!? We have a great team and a beautiful new ballpark. Go Cocks! P.S. Tailgating welcome.
I want to know where all the sexy, hot single guys are in Columbia because all I found are the ugly ones that have baby mamas and no job and [are] just plain old losers.
This rant goes out to Richland County Animal Control. Real animal control officers catch dogs. They don’t shoot them with tranquilizer guns. These are non-aggressive family pets you a#!holes! I hear you guys are pretty trigger happy. Well, keep it up and I’m sure you’ll have a lawsuit soon! I would also like to send a rave out to the veterinarian and the nice ladies at the Columbia city shelter for patching my dog up and taking good care of him after those jerks at Richland County used my dog for target practice. My boy is doing great by the way. So thank you.
I have rant for my 300-pound co-worker who brings fast food into the office four out of the five days of the work week. Please STOP!! I have to smell that greasy food and it makes me, and I’m sure others, want to puke. I mean every once in a while would be fine but breakfast and lunch like every day, come on!! Eat that s#!t in your car so I don’t have to smell it. I can hear and smell you getting fatter. You’re GROSS!!!!!!!
To the woman who can’t get a date (March 3): I assure you it is BECAUSE you hang out at Cool Beans all day, probably reading a Chicken Soup book, that nobody will ask you out. Dork.
When the hell are some bar owners in the Midlands going to sue local governments for these oh-so-good-for-us-all smoking bans being exactly what they are — a blatant violation of private property rights? As long as tobacco remains LEGAL, local business owners have the RIGHT to decide for themselves whether or not they’ll allow smoking.
To the idiots who decided to allow digital billboards in Northeast Columbia: At first I thought they were light-polluting, tasteless distractions meant to cheapen the resale value of homes in neighborhoods near to where they were placed. But when the ad for the pawn shop popped up in my face it all came together. I mean, it’s important we all know where the pawn shop is, right? Maybe we can get a sign with big old flashin’ boobs for the hoochie bar next.
Dear [radio] station 99.3, you do have commercials. Stop saying you don’t.
Need to get something off your chest? Call us with your rant or rave at 765-0707 ext. 126 or email RANTandRAVE@free-times.com. Submissions will be edited for length and spelling but not grammar. Please limit emailed submissions to 150 words.
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