My boyfriend says he'll leave me if I tattoo my foot? BUSINESS PROFESSIONALS ONLY PLEASE ANSWER!?
My boyfriend has a very professional job, office environment and all of his colleagues are professional and "well-to-do" people. The problem is I am thinking of getting another tattoo (I have a butterfly on the inside of my right ankle) and it would be a small (1.5 inch by 1.5 inch checkered flag, I love NASCAR and it would be on the top of my right foot, very small. He said that if I get it, he would never talk to me again, date me, etc. He says it is very trashy, he doesn’t mind the butterfly b/c I got it before I met him. I would like to get answers from people that are like him. I asked my friends and my friends say that is controlling and forget about him. What do you guys think!? I’m really trying to find some kind of reason for him to be saying this, cause other than that, everything is FINE. If you reply, tell me what you do for a living, my boyfriend is a tax analyst, age 34. I am in the medical field and I am 24. Thanks!
I would like to add that we dated for 5 years and broke up for two. We have just now gotten back together and all of this comes up. What broke us up a while ago was that he couldn’t promise me that we had a future… So I called it off becuase I didn’t want to go down another 5 year road with someone only to say, "Were good friends…" He basically says he won’t even talk to me if I get it, which I tried to explain, it’s not changing me as a person, and it’s somethingk I’ve wanted for years. I wanted it while we were together the 1st time, so it is def something that I want, regardless.
you guys are so encourging, you’re gonna make me cry. LOL Keep it coming!
a checkered flag, racing has always beena part of my life, my dad used to race, my brother in law is a racer, etc. It could be a 4 leaf clover if I passionate about that, but it is not, it is a checkered flag.
HEY YALL! Thanks for the answers! And BTW, I got it today!!! Literally, 1 hour ago, I have not even washed it off yet.
THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE! I feel really good about it.
-->HiTexFlags on 19 Mar 2010 | Flags | Comments (22)
22 Responses
toots
19 Mar 2010Body "art"? sorry, but tattoos turn my stomach. They are SOOOO ghetto.
spadezgurl22
19 Mar 2010its your body and u shoudl do what makes u happy. u obviously have goo dreasoning and ysmbolism for getting it (its not like it magically popped in ur head) for a man to tell u not to do it seems controlling. whats his best reasoning? your getting it on ur foot so it wont be in plain site. if it was completely hideous i might say listen tohim but it sounds to me like its cute and girly. ur man sounds like acontrol freak and he is using this as leverage either to break up with you or hold something over ur head. if he doesnt respect ur decision then ur in trouble. this relationship seems doomed esp since ubroke up bc of his committment issues. please do urself a favor and get rid of this controlling jerk.
zippythejessi
19 Mar 2010Where it IS your body, I can kinda see his POV. He works in a very conservative field – from what you say, and if God Forbid, you see his coworkers socially together, could you IMAGINE the SCANDAL if they look down their noses and see ink on your foot? (I hope you can smell the sarcasm!!)
I personally would get the tat somewhere else – where those who see it are on a "need to know" basis. (On your foot, it could be seen if you wear sandals….)
Good luck!
mlprocin
19 Mar 2010I work in the medical profession, and the rule here is any tattoo must be covered up. High-level professionals usually frown on visible tattoos. If it’s something you can hide when you have to socialize with his business colleagues, it should not be a big deal. Just remember that by displaying it, you could hurt his career.
gabshaff
19 Mar 2010I have to disagree whole heartedly with GAgirl. Or whatever her name is. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years and he has about 6 tattoos and is planning on getting more. It’s dumb that he is telling you he will stop talking to you over a flag on your foot that will be covered up if you wear shoes. And GAgirl saying she works at an office and told her boyfriend he couldn’t get any is completely selfish. I don’t know how many times I tell my boyfriend not to get another tattoo and then end up going with him to get one. If you want a flag, a horse, a rose, a memorial, a cross… if you want a picture of george bush on your foot or any other part of your body you should damn well do it. You only live once and yes it might seem stupid to some people and even trashy… f*** them. If he loves you and wants to be with you than he has to accept something that means a lot to you. That GAgirl says she loved her boyfriends body the way it was, but if you care enough about someone you can learn to love if no matter what. I got used to staring at all 6 of my mans tattoos and they don’t make me feel any less love towards him than before. Please realize that people saying "it’s him or a tattoo" is ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to put away something that matters to you just because someone else won’t accept you. It’s all or nothing with love. Good luck I hope you get a damn nice flag so you can shove it in everyones face haha!
taurus032078
19 Mar 2010tell him to go sc*ew himself. thats bein posessive. its not like anyone is gonna see your tattoo anyway and besides its your body.
elektricklad
19 Mar 2010Sweetheart…read what you wrote….The guy is a jerk… He seems to be looking for an excuse…He either is trying to pressure you under his control, or you gotta go! Best thing for you to do is to get the tattoo and dedicate it to him…Flaunt it to his friends, Then send him packing. This day and time, Many professioanls have tattoos. Have you ever noticed the number of hard core Harley riders sitting on top of 50 thousand dollar bikes….Those guys are doctors and lawyers.
Your boyfriend isnt the CEO of a fortune 500 company, therefore not in a social position to dictate what is socially right or wrong. Now as for me, I am a single father raising 4 kids 13, 10, 8, and 6. I was awarded custody in the divorce… Sounds odd? I also have about 11 piercings ^ of which aare on my face (nose,tongue, lip, and bridge of my nose). I am a business owner. I own and work in a customer service based industry.. I an Electrician and am called on to repair electrical services in personal homes many of which are very upscale…
HAND F
19 Mar 2010DUMP THE BOYFRIEND!!! and get the tattoo
lunacrab
19 Mar 2010if u have to ask for permission on what to do with your body, that’s not a healthy relationship. I myself was given the same scenario, but I did it anyways. (no problem) I am in the Executive Transportation business. (Audi, Lambourghini, Pfizer, etc) when I need to be discreet, I use a Band-Aid!!! You’ll never know his reasoning. Envy, maybe? Good luck and get that damned tattoo!!!!!
robbie-5675
19 Mar 2010if your relationship is good and you care for him as much as he cares for you…don’t end this for 2.25 square inch of ink.
wish you the best…
Karen B
19 Mar 2010DO NOT TATOO your body any more. It is trashy.
Pink1967
19 Mar 2010He sounds like he is very insecure in your relationship. Tattoos are not taboo anymore – many business professionals have tattoos that they cover up when they are at work but uncover after work is over. I think he is making a big deal out of nothing and is looking for an excuse to break up with you. If it wasn’t the tattoo it would be something else. If you wear socks no one would see it, right?
Get the tattoo and live your own life. If he leaves you over something like this he isn’t worth your time and effort.
writenimage
19 Mar 2010Sounds to me like you may not be the best match for each other. Sounds like he is more worried about image than substance. I hate NASCAR, but if my GF wanted a NASCAR tattoo then i would accept it because i love her. If he can’t accept your interests then there is no mutual respect. Both My GF and I have professional job, in office settings. She has several tattoos, but none of them are very visible when she is dressed except of one on the back of her neck, which is usualy covered with her hair. The people she works with don’t seem to have a problem with it. And her jobis much more professional than mine. I can see your BF point of wanting to look professional, and maybe he is worried about the negative sterotypes that NASCAR and Racing emblems have (redneck, trashy, etc). But if he is that worried about it that he would leave you over it, it sounds to me like he has more issues than you do.
BTW my GF works for an organization that helpe people with disabilities, and I am in purchasing and aquisistions in the tool and machining industry.
znickelno21
19 Mar 2010Hi – I’m 25 and I work for a software company, I’m in Marketing. I have no tattoos, and I have no desire to ever get one. Although I think tattoos are great when people get something that they really love or that means something to them. It’s a great outlet for self expression. I just could never make up my mind.
I feel like you should be able to get that tiny tattoo on your foot – it’s nothing that’s going to affect your presentation to your boyfriend or to his collegues and friends. If the first one doesn’t bother him I don’t see why the second one would.Sometimes explaining things to guys can be difficult when they are stubborn and refuse to see it from your perspective. This is what works for me with my husband (and has since we first started dating). I have to swing it around and put him in the situation that I am in – make him the one who wants something that you hate or disapprove of. Then ask him how he would feel if you did what he’s doing to you. Pretty much every time my husband has had to admit that he sees my point. I can’t promise that he’ll be happy about it – but at least you can get him to see what he’s doing by threatening to end your relationship (That is completely childish by the way).
I’m sorry that this little piece of artwork has turned into such a life changing event! Once you get it and put on your shoe, he won’t even see it most of the time! Good luck with it – I hope you are able to convince him!
b k
19 Mar 2010its your body YOU should do what you want
if you to split up for that reason then it was never really meant to be
I however agree with your boyfriend I think it would look trashy
you don’t put a bumper sticker on a Mercedes
WisdomAngel
19 Mar 2010There are two separate issues being merged here: one is your tattoo, and the other is your boyfriend’s lack of commitment in your relationship.
If a tattoo is the dealbreaker for your boyfriend, you might want to consider that there are other underlying issues he might have with this relationship, or that he is very, very controlling and that’s not a good thing. It’s so hard to think about it, and my heart goes out to you, but my honest thoughts on this are that if he was appropriately committed to you and loved you fully, he would most likely not be giving you such a serious ultimatim over such a relatively inconsequential and benign issue. It’s difficult to think about it, but ask yourself, is there any reason to think he might be looking for an out here? If you just don’t think he is, then you’ve got to look at the control issue here.
I’m in my 30’s and very professional. I’m about to get my own first tattoo, which will be very meaningful to me, in a more prominently visible spot than my foot. I don’t think his job has a whole lot of weight here. You’re not pressuring him to get a tattoo…and nobody at his office needs to see your foot at any company events because you can always cover the tat with shoes. If someone sees you out and about, that’s your life and not his company time. At what point do you draw the line between what brings you personal joy and inspires you, versus your husband owning you and preventing you from following your bliss?
My husband isn’t a major tattoo fan. He’s stated he doesn’t think I ‘need’ one, and isn’t particularly enthusiastic about it, but that if I really love the idea, he will love me the same with or without it and support me. I guarantee his office is much more conservative than wherever your boyfriend works…he works in a VERY conservative field and industry. Me having tattoo would in no way affect his job or his image, because he does his work very well, and he is liked and respected by his colleagues, as am I. The same is true for me at my own work, where I am a leader and I still know the tattoo will not inpact my quality of work or my clientelle’s appreciation for my expertise.
If your boyfriend is looking for an out, maybe this tattoo is it. Otherwise, he’s out of bounds with the control issue. I would absolutely expect a boyfriend to speak up…just as my husband did…if he doesn’t like the idea. But to try and control you with his viewpoint is just not healthy. It sounds like his concerns are not just with the tattoo, but with the overall state of your relationship and your personal differences…he sees himself as hanging with and fitting in with the well-to-do crowd, and he views you and your tattoo as outside of that social circle, and it’s making him self-concious. You don’t have to get that tattoo…you can respect his viewpoint and not get it…if YOU want to. But I’m not particuarly impressed with his attempt to "make" you not get it. I hope it all works out for you. Either way, a good talk with him about whether this is really about the tattoo and nothing more, or about the relationship, is a good idea. Best of luck!
batgirl2good
19 Mar 2010I am a 3rd grade teacher, and I think you ought to do what is best for YOU. If he is trying to control this, he will try to control you in other areas as well. I don’t think much of this guy who would let a little thing like that keep him from ever speaking to you again. He must not really love you at all if he would let something like that turn him away from you.
I’d tell him, "Fine. Do what you have to do. I’m getting the tatoo." See what he says or does.I don’t like this guy already.
Please get that tatoo. I am serious. He will try to control you in other ways. This may be an indication that he has "control" issues.I wish you the best! You sound like a great person.
widewillie
19 Mar 2010Do you actually want to stay with someone who says things like…." I won’t EVER talk to you if you____"??
Today it’s your choice of ink…tomorrow it’s____….WHO KNOWS??? If his feelings for you are swayed so dramatically by something as trivial as a tattoo…you should be the one ending the relationship not him. He clearly does not respect you.
While I would personally question your sanity for selecting a Nascar flag to adorn your body…it is your choice…and he can disagree or dislike it…but should never disrespect you or threaten you for something as inconsequential as this.
I’m a Senior Program Director for an Educational Consulting Company…and I have 13 tattoo’s
)
Nandina
19 Mar 2010It’s your body, it’s your choice. If it’s something you want to do and it’s something you would want to have on your body when you’re 70, 80, 90, then it’s your decision.
I have a tattoo, and I’m also a NASCAR fan, but I don’t think I personally would put a checkered flag on me. But that’s me.
If it’s who you are, and if he doesn’t like who you are, better you find out now rather than later.
I guess it comes down to the question of which is more important to you – the tattoo, or your relationship with him?
P.S. Go, Smoke!!
*Cara*
19 Mar 2010I think your boyfriend is trying to control you. I agree with your friends. It is YOUR body, YOU can do whatever you want to with it. There are shoes and socks that will cover that right up anyway. Your boyfriend sounds like a big baby.
GAgirl
19 Mar 2010I have worked in an office for 6 years now (21 years old) and personally I have to agree with your boyfriend. He is not controlling you but telling you he does not want to date someone with tattoos (excluding the butterfly) and you can respect that and not get it or move on. Personally I was with a man three years and I made a deal with him; while we were together I did not want him to get anymore tattoos (he had on in memory of his dead mother on his arm before we met). He agreed and didnt get one. The funny thing is four months after I broke up with him he got his whole arm tattooed from his wrist to his elbow.
My justification in asking him not to get one was that I loved him and his body just the way it was. I did not want to stare at tattoos when I looked at him. He respected that and waited. I think you should too.
SuzyBelle04
19 Mar 2010it is your body, do what you want. he has no right to tell you that you cant. he does have the right to leave you if you get it, i mean, if it will be that bad, and he has to break up with you, then so be it. i think he just does not want what he thinks is "trashy" projecting on him because he has a "professional" job and is older than you. if he thinks a small tattoo on your ankle will end your relationship, then he does not love you for you and who you are. my fiance told me if i got my nose pierced that would look like white trash and he would dump me, and also told me that if i did not take his last name when we got married, he would not marry me………………this just goes to prove he is not loving the person, but the status of me taking his name………..it is a pride issue and also he does not want me with a nose ring and my "white trashiness" reflecting on him.
Let us know your thoughts!
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