Thursday, December 2, 2010

Survive the holidays single - Toronto Sun

Take pleasure in doing your own thing this season. (QMI Agency files)
Take pleasure in doing your own thing this season. (QMI Agency files)

Single for the holidays? Lucky you!

Every year around the holidays, zillions of sad stories start making the rounds about how to survive the cheery, chocolate-filled days even if you're (boo-hoo) single.

Well, forget that. This year, we're turning the whole woe-is-me Bridget Jones' idea on its tired, old head. I mean, come on, that's so 2001!

Here's the thing - if you're flying solo this season, you ought to be celebrating, if only for the fact you don't have to be perfectly charming for an entire agonizing night at the in-laws' house or get dragged to your mate's office party where, through gritted teeth, you smile and nod through five hours of nauseating small talk and bad corporate speeches.

So, if you're running wild and free this season, go ahead and make your married friends jealous with our seven top reasons why being single during the holiday season rocks.

No spending time with the 'faux' relatives:

Forget Aunt Bertha. She was never your aunt anyway.

Oh, the beauty of solo navigation! As your friends are being dragged to their partners' relatives homes for egg nog, you don't have to budge. Probably the best thing about being single is that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Even better, you don't have to worry about finding the in-laws the perfect (read: non-offensive) present or eating a second round of some horrible family recipe.

It's your party:

Sure, you can cry if you want to, but only once and only for a day. Newly single or just feeling lonely under the mistletoe? OK, take an ice cream and pajama day if you must, but then pull yourself out of your H�agen-Dazs-infused slumber, trash the rom coms, call up the other single cats in your crew and hit the town. Take pleasure in making your own schedule!

"You just have so much freedom," says Anne L. Fritz, co-founder of the lifestyle website TheJetSetGirls.com.

"You don't have to worry about going to their relatives ... you won't necessarily have a New Year's Eve date, but you might have a hot date lined up in January and you get to collect all kinds of phone numbers."

Forget 'The One:'

If we all just had only one person in the entire world that suited us, likely no one would ever hook up. Time to recognize those illusions and get on with your lives, people. According to Toronto-based dating coach Christine Hart (YourDateCoach.com), the irritating fantasy of perfect love and perfect couples can lead to pure, utter misery. Time to pop the bubble, she says.

"Stop yourself from assuming that people who are in a couple are super happy," says Hart.

"You really don't know what's happening in other people's relationships."

Explore yourself:

Use your extra holiday time utterly selfishly. Read those books and magazines that have been sitting on the night table for months, get around to installing that new shelving unit or just indulge in your laziest desires and sit on your couch watching the first four seasons of Mad Men.

Me, me and more me:

"Enter the holiday season with a totally different attitude," says Hart. "You're going to have fun and decorate your apartment however you want to. You can have five days in a row where you sleep 14 hours if you want to. You can come and go as you please! Use the time to get refreshed and renewed for the new year."

Gift yourself:

Instead of dealing with the pressure of trying to find the perfect gift for someone else, save some serious cash, or go ahead and pamper yourself instead. And don't skimp either. Indeed a mini mani-pedi combo is nice, but a full spa day is even better. Hoping for a piece of jewelry instead? Well, you're in charge of the purse strings.

"There are so many affordable pieces," says Fritz.

"Sweet charm necklaces like a four-leaf clover would be a great gift to give yourself because it's meaningful and it will last."

Why are you still single?

There will always be some irritating sod at every party who will ask you something dumb like, 'You're such a great catch - why are you still single?' Hart says it's helpful to prepare an answer before getting stuck in a relationship inquisition.

"Always have a stock answer ready in your back pocket," says Hart.

"Try, 'Yeah, I am having such a great time. I am learning so much about myself!' That way they won't be able to feel sorry for you."

Party circuit dress code:

You're single so you might as well look your hottest, right? You're not dressing for anyone's preferences but your own. For gals who don't want to go unnoticed, think sequins, says Fritz.

"I am such a huge fan of sequins," says Fritz.

"Just don't wear too many. Don't wear top and bottom sequins. Do a sequin mini, but you don't want to go out wearing something too short and tight."

Meanwhile, snap up some attention by wearing a festive colour, she says.

"I love wearing colour," says Fritz, noting that this in itself goes against the grain of regular somber black ensembles worn by so many partygoers. "I think red would be a classic colour choice or a pretty purple or green."

Tips for new daters during the holiday season:

- Never bring a date to the office party. For one thing, you can’t control bad behaviour that could reflect poorly on you.

- Never organize a first date for New Year’s Eve. If you don’t hit it off, you’re stuck with each other for the night. Plus the midnight kiss will be awkward.

- Enjoy your single status while it lasts while reveling in family and friendships.

- Confidence booster! During the holidays, it’s easy to over-indulge in rich food, alcoholic drinks and late nights but remember to take care of your health to help maintain that healthy glow.

(Source: Lavalife dating Expert, Kim Hughes)

Your Comments

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