he discovered a pressed four-leaf-clover.-Even the worst jokes perk up Monday - Quad City Times

Didja hear the one about the old ladies who kept giving free peanuts to their bus driver while on a long trip?

Or what the snail said while riding on the back of a turtle?

Or the little kid who found Adam’s underwear in his grandma’s Bible?

These are not jokes you’re going to write down. You will probably forget them before you finish struggling through this space.   But they brought chuckles and polite laughter Monday morning in the calm of Faith  Evangelical Lutheran Church, on the corner of LeClaire Road in Eldridge.

Monday was National Tell a Joke Day, so Women of Faith gathered at 10 a.m. to tell jokes. Some of them were corny old chestnuts; a couple were new.  But

10 women and two men got a good laugh off their chests. Even the preacher joined in.

The big table in the church library held Ho Hos, Snickers and a pitcher of lemonade.  That was  good encouragement for jokes.  Elda Ewoldt led the laughter, sort of a master of ceremonies. Everyone had jokes to tell.  I couldn’t write down the gags fast enough.

Between jokes, the Rev. Dan Mixdorf, pastor, interrupted the story about Adam’s underwear: “Lutherans need an excuse to laugh. So many of them were German immigrants who needed a laugh to survive when they came to this country.”

So much for reasons to laugh. A sampling from Monday’s version of “Laugh In”…

DURING YUK-YUKS, Dan Taylor, a serviceman for MidAmerica Energy Co. who happened to be in the church, asked if could tell a quick a story …

 “First, one old woman gave a sack of a peanuts to the bus driver.  He ate them all.  Another LOL (little old lady) handed him a second sack of nuts.   He was delighted.  He ate all in the sack.  A third lady came up with another bag.  He finally said, “It’s wonderful that you are giving me all these peanuts, but why don’t you eat them?   One of them spoke up:  “The nuts get stuck in our dentures, so we just suck off the chocolate.”

THE LITTLE BOY was in Grandma’s attic.  He was searching through some old books and found a thick Bible.   Thumbing through the Bible pages he discovered a pressed four-leaf-clover.  He hurried downstairs, holding the clover and excitedly told his grandma:

“Look, I found Adam’s underwear.”

Q.  What kind of clothes do lawyer’s wear?

A.  Suits.

Q.  What did the snail say while riding on the back of a turtle?

A.  “Whee.”

THE 8-YEAR-OLD said to her mom, “Is it true that God created man from dust?”

Her mother nodded.

The little girl shook her head and said, “Then he should look under the bed and start over again.”

ONE JOKE rolled after another.

  “Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?”

“Because they taste funny.”

THIS FELLOW was in line at the Pearly Gates. Some marched right away through the gates to heaven.  Others were led to Satan who threw them into hell.   Some were told to stand in a line and wait.

One curious guy stepped up to Satan and asked, “What gives?   Why are you putting some in a line to wait for judgment?”

Satan said, “They’re from Iowa where they had all that rain.  They’re still too wet to burn.”

Contact Bill Wundram at (563) 383-2249 or bwundram@qctimes.com.

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