The wish list of a dying mother: Cancer sufferer leaves husband the 100 things he must do with their two young sons... and tells him to 'find another woman'
By Claire Ellicott
Last updated at 9:54 AM on 1st October 2010Diagnosed with terminal cancer, Kate Greene had to come to terms with the fact that she would not see her young sons grow up.
But, determined to be an ongoing presence in their lives, she drew up a ‘mummy’s manual’ of more than 100 instructions, hopes and ambitions for her two boys to read after her death.
Mrs Greene, who died at the age of 37 following a two-year battle with breast cancer, wanted Finn, four, and Reef, six, to visit a Welsh beach where she holidayed as a child, attend an international rugby match and go to Switzerland, where her husband St John proposed to her.
Devoted mother: Kate Greene with her sons Reef and Finn on holiday
St John and Kate with their sons Reef and Finn on a trip to Disney World, Florida. Kate's 'to'do' list requests that her husband takes the boys there again
She outlines basic principles she wants Mr Greene, 44, to instil in the boys, such as to be always on time, to treat girlfriends with respect and to make up after a row.
She also makes it clear that they should never smoke, ride motorbikes or join the Armed Forces.
Other instructions are heartbreakingly simple. She asks her sons to find their own four-leaf clover, learn to play a musical instrument and grow sunflowers.
St John Greene with his sons Finn (left) and Reef on the beach in Clevedon - a favourite spot of their mother Kate
She also notes things she liked, such as walks on the river bank and learning butterfly and bird names.Selflessly, she even urges her husband to find another woman so the boys have a female influence.
Mr Greene plans to tick off all the wishes, and has already fulfilled some, including buying a dining table for the family to eat round and building a playroom extension for their home in Clevedon, Somerset.
The ex-paramedic, who now runs an outdoor pursuits company, met his future wife, an insurance underwriter and part-time scuba diving teacher, in 1984.
Tragedy first struck in December 2005, when Mrs Greene was pregnant with Finn. Doctors found a tumour in Reef’s abdomen.
Given a 6 per cent chance of survival, he had intensive chemotherapy then surgery to remove the tumour, which damaged nerves in his legs.
StJohn and Kate on their wedding day in 1996. The devoted mother left a touching 'to do' list of over 100 instructions for raising their two young sons
Doctors warned that he might never walk again but, incredibly, he recovered and the cancer went into remission.
Then in April 2008, Mrs Greene found a lump in her left breast. She underwent 18 months of chemotherapy, but doctors told her the disease had spread too far and her treatment was stopped.
Her condition deteriorated and two months later she needed oxygen tanks at home to survive. She died in January this year.
Croke Park Stadium in Dublin: Kate told her husband he must take their sons there to see Ireland play England in the Six Nations rugby
Mr Greene said: ‘I think towards the end we both knew Kate’s time was up. We’ve known each other since we were children and didn’t need to say the words. We just knew.
‘Then one night she became really frightened she wouldn’t make it through the night, we stayed up chatting and at about 4am we drew up the wish list of things I had to do with the boys. Before I knew it, there were over three sides of A4.’
The family fulfilled a number of Mrs Greene’s final wishes before she died, such as visiting Santa in Lapland, going to Disney World in Florida and seeing a pantomime.
Mr Greene, who said each item on the list helped him remember his ‘soulmate’, said yesterday: ‘Losing Kate was more devastating than words can describe but by carrying out all the wishes on the list we still have an emotional tie.’
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Here's what readers have had to say so far. Why not debate this issue live on our message boards.
The comments below have been moderated in advance.
omw the tears in my eyes after reading this....so sad what a wonderful thoughtful woman
- Shanna, South Africa, 01/10/2010 15:11
I know I have already commented, but feel I have comment after reading some of the heartless and insensitive comments on here. First of all, no disrespect to those in the armed services, I come from a military family myself, when you sign up you know that you will have to sacrifice your life, and it may be cut short. This mother just wanted to keep her sons safe, and to spare the heartache
Secondly, this woman was dying, she has no control over her fate, she will never see her beloved sons grow up into young men, this is her way of trying to make an influence in their lives, so that she is not forgotton. You walk a mile in her shoes first, before making such hartless comments. The father sounds like a sensible man, I expect he will use his good judgement to parent the boys how he sees fit, and use this list as a guide, not rules set in stone.
- Isabel, Bucks, 01/10/2010 14:47
God bless her. May she rest in peace. God will always be with your family and you. :)
- Abigail, Surrey, 01/10/2010 14:43
My mom passed away last November from cancer, which she battled for 5 years and I'm 28. This article brought a tear to my eye....I think the list was a great idea. I think the 2 boys will get immense comfort from it when they are older and get a sense of how much she loved them. Of course it will never be enough.....no list will make up for their loss...and they are too young to probably even remember or realise how much they meant to her. Im sure their Father will try to fill the void left, but nothing compares to a Mother's love. My heart goes out to them....I hope they find some solice in the list she's left behind.
- Ciara, Galway, Ireland, 01/10/2010 14:30
My sister died of cancer 4 years ago when she was barely 40, she left two children aged 9 and 11. We are still finding loving notes and poems interspersed in the childrens books even now, just telling them how much she loved them and that she would be looking over them.
This beautiful story reminds me so much of her and her strength of character and how she coped with her thoughts in those last dark days. May god bless this family.- Peter, Southampton, 01/10/2010 14:20
My sister died of cancer 4 years ago when she was barely 40, she left two children aged 9 and 11. We are still finding loving notes and poems interspersed in the childrens books even now, just telling them how much she loved them and that she would be looking over them.
This beautiful story reminds me so much of her and her strength of character and how she coped with her thoughts in those last dark days. May god bless this family.- Peter, Southampton, 01/10/2010 14:20
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
We are no longer accepting comments on this article.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
The wish list of a dying mother: Cancer sufferer leaves husband the 100 things ... - Daily Mail
The wish list of a dying mother: Cancer sufferer leaves husband the 100 things ... - Daily Mail
The wish list of a dying mother: Cancer sufferer leaves husband the 100 things he must do with their two young sons... and tells him to 'find another woman'
By Claire Ellicott
Last updated at 9:54 AM on 1st October 2010Diagnosed with terminal cancer, Kate Greene had to come to terms with the fact that she would not see her young sons grow up.
But, determined to be an ongoing presence in their lives, she drew up a ‘mummy’s manual’ of more than 100 instructions, hopes and ambitions for her two boys to read after her death.
Mrs Greene, who died at the age of 37 following a two-year battle with breast cancer, wanted Finn, four, and Reef, six, to visit a Welsh beach where she holidayed as a child, attend an international rugby match and go to Switzerland, where her husband St John proposed to her.
Devoted mother: Kate Greene with her sons Reef and Finn on holiday
St John and Kate with their sons Reef and Finn on a trip to Disney World, Florida. Kate's 'to'do' list requests that her husband takes the boys there again
She outlines basic principles she wants Mr Greene, 44, to instil in the boys, such as to be always on time, to treat girlfriends with respect and to make up after a row.
She also makes it clear that they should never smoke, ride motorbikes or join the Armed Forces.
Other instructions are heartbreakingly simple. She asks her sons to find their own four-leaf clover, learn to play a musical instrument and grow sunflowers.
St John Greene with his sons Finn (left) and Reef on the beach in Clevedon - a favourite spot of their mother Kate
She also notes things she liked, such as walks on the river bank and learning butterfly and bird names.Selflessly, she even urges her husband to find another woman so the boys have a female influence.
Mr Greene plans to tick off all the wishes, and has already fulfilled some, including buying a dining table for the family to eat round and building a playroom extension for their home in Clevedon, Somerset.
The ex-paramedic, who now runs an outdoor pursuits company, met his future wife, an insurance underwriter and part-time scuba diving teacher, in 1984.
Tragedy first struck in December 2005, when Mrs Greene was pregnant with Finn. Doctors found a tumour in Reef’s abdomen.
Given a 6 per cent chance of survival, he had intensive chemotherapy then surgery to remove the tumour, which damaged nerves in his legs.
StJohn and Kate on their wedding day in 1996. The devoted mother left a touching 'to do' list of over 100 instructions for raising their two young sons
Doctors warned that he might never walk again but, incredibly, he recovered and the cancer went into remission.
Then in April 2008, Mrs Greene found a lump in her left breast. She underwent 18 months of chemotherapy, but doctors told her the disease had spread too far and her treatment was stopped.
Her condition deteriorated and two months later she needed oxygen tanks at home to survive. She died in January this year.
Croke Park Stadium in Dublin: Kate told her husband he must take their sons there to see Ireland play England in the Six Nations rugby
Mr Greene said: ‘I think towards the end we both knew Kate’s time was up. We’ve known each other since we were children and didn’t need to say the words. We just knew.
‘Then one night she became really frightened she wouldn’t make it through the night, we stayed up chatting and at about 4am we drew up the wish list of things I had to do with the boys. Before I knew it, there were over three sides of A4.’
The family fulfilled a number of Mrs Greene’s final wishes before she died, such as visiting Santa in Lapland, going to Disney World in Florida and seeing a pantomime.
Mr Greene, who said each item on the list helped him remember his ‘soulmate’, said yesterday: ‘Losing Kate was more devastating than words can describe but by carrying out all the wishes on the list we still have an emotional tie.’
Explore more:
- Places:
- Switzerland
Share this article:
Comments (174)
Here's what readers have had to say so far. Why not debate this issue live on our message boards.
The comments below have been moderated in advance.
omw the tears in my eyes after reading this....so sad what a wonderful thoughtful woman
- Shanna, South Africa, 01/10/2010 15:11
I know I have already commented, but feel I have comment after reading some of the heartless and insensitive comments on here. First of all, no disrespect to those in the armed services, I come from a military family myself, when you sign up you know that you will have to sacrifice your life, and it may be cut short. This mother just wanted to keep her sons safe, and to spare the heartache
Secondly, this woman was dying, she has no control over her fate, she will never see her beloved sons grow up into young men, this is her way of trying to make an influence in their lives, so that she is not forgotton. You walk a mile in her shoes first, before making such hartless comments. The father sounds like a sensible man, I expect he will use his good judgement to parent the boys how he sees fit, and use this list as a guide, not rules set in stone.
- Isabel, Bucks, 01/10/2010 14:47
God bless her. May she rest in peace. God will always be with your family and you. :)
- Abigail, Surrey, 01/10/2010 14:43
My mom passed away last November from cancer, which she battled for 5 years and I'm 28. This article brought a tear to my eye....I think the list was a great idea. I think the 2 boys will get immense comfort from it when they are older and get a sense of how much she loved them. Of course it will never be enough.....no list will make up for their loss...and they are too young to probably even remember or realise how much they meant to her. Im sure their Father will try to fill the void left, but nothing compares to a Mother's love. My heart goes out to them....I hope they find some solice in the list she's left behind.
- Ciara, Galway, Ireland, 01/10/2010 14:30
My sister died of cancer 4 years ago when she was barely 40, she left two children aged 9 and 11. We are still finding loving notes and poems interspersed in the childrens books even now, just telling them how much she loved them and that she would be looking over them.
This beautiful story reminds me so much of her and her strength of character and how she coped with her thoughts in those last dark days. May god bless this family.- Peter, Southampton, 01/10/2010 14:20
My sister died of cancer 4 years ago when she was barely 40, she left two children aged 9 and 11. We are still finding loving notes and poems interspersed in the childrens books even now, just telling them how much she loved them and that she would be looking over them.
This beautiful story reminds me so much of her and her strength of character and how she coped with her thoughts in those last dark days. May god bless this family.- Peter, Southampton, 01/10/2010 14:20
The views expressed in the contents above are those of our users and do not necessarily reflect the views of MailOnline.
We are no longer accepting comments on this article.
100 THINGS TO DO WHEN I DIE - Mirror.co.uk
100 THINGS TO DO WHEN I DIE
Mum's list for raising 2 sons
A devoted mum who died of cancer has left a poignant list of 100 things her husband should do to raise their two young boys.
Kate Greene, who died at 37, drew up the instructions for husband St John in her final days. The list includes dos and don'ts and her hopes and ambitions for their sons Finn, four, and Reef, six, who himself survived cancer.
Kate outlined principles she wanted to instil in the boys - including treating girlfriends with respect, and not leaving it too long to make up after a row.
But she also asked him to help them enjoy simple pleasures such as finding a four-leaf clover, growing sunflowers and learning a musical instrument.
Kate, who died in January, asked St John to take the boys to Llantwit Major beach in South Wales where she went as a child, and to the Eiger mountain in Switzerland where he proposed.
Her heart-breaking wish list then instructed St John to buy a dining table so they could enjoy meals together, and always kiss the boys goodnight twice.
Kate found a lump in her breast in 2005 after oldest son Reef had survived an aggressive rhabdoid sarcoma.
After chemotherapy it was clear she could not be saved. St John, of Clevedon, Somerset, said: "One night she became really frightened she wouldn't make it through till morning so we stayed up and at 4am we drew up the wish list."
She noted down several more and St John said: "Losing Kate was devastating but now we still have an emotional tie. I've done as many as possible, we plan to do the lot."
Most touchingly, Kate said St John should find a partner so the boys grow up with a female influence. He said: "The most difficult is finding someone else. I've found my soulmate."
RUBICON "A Good Day's Work" Review - Daemon's TV
RUBICON “A Good Day’s Work” Review
The ongoing game of cat-and-mouse comes to a head tonight in the episode “A Good Day’s Work” of RUBICON. No doubt this means we are getting closer to a resolution to our four-leaf clover puzzle. Will knows that he is being watched; knows Spangler played a role in David’s death; and knows his life is in danger. Spangler is aware that Will knows too much. And Will knows that Spangler knows that he knows too much. Yet both men must remain civil, going in circles and attempting to stay a step ahead of the other.
Will is assigned to find Kateb. He gets Tanya temporarily released from filing duties to help. Will also requests for Maggie to be reassigned to the team. The team discovers the true identity of Kateb, who turns up in the U.S. Katherine is fearful of leaving the house because of Bloom’s threats.
Spangler arranges for Bloom to murder Will after discovering that Will is looking for information on the Fishers Island group. Spangler offers what he thinks are final parting words to Will, praising him for his work on the Kateb case and for his career at API. Will has to play along and pretend to be grateful for Spangler’s words and his compliments about David. After Will fights and kills Bloom, he enlists Kale for help disposing the body. Will dumps Andy.
Tonight’s episode of Rubicon confirms several details of the conspiracy and how it relates to Spangler. Michael Cristofer again illustrates his wonderful acting abilities. His sinister portrayal of Spangler clearly conveys the confidence and scope of his control in the situation. James Badge Dale also is great portraying Will on the opposite end of the emotion spectrum. At the end of the episode, the shock and fear on his face completely encompasses his panic and realization of not only killing someone, but of his own powerlessness in such a huge plot. Will learns that Spangler and his childhood friends use their power and positions, along with API findings, to engineer and profit from global vulnerabilities. The suicides of some of those friends are probably because those individuals couldn’t live with the events that they had set in motion. However, we are still left with the question of whether Spangler and the gang are tied to the Kateb plot. I would assume yes, considering its mention and development in each episode and Spangler’s interest in it. But how will this story be resolved? Could Will conceivably do anything about the outcome? Further questions also arise. Does the card that Tom hides for Katherine mean anything beyond the literal meaning? What sort of plans does Spangler have for Grant; how will Grant respond? Can we trust Kale’s motives and allegiances now that he has helped Will clean up? As it stands, it seems only one person can survive in the end. Spangler won’t let Will get away with anything. But what would the show be without Will? Which side will prevail? I suspect it will be bits and pieces (individuals and morals) from each side. Who will be left standing?
What are your thoughts on episode 11 “A Good Day’s Work” of Rubicon?
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Unflappable Khan takes it all in her stride - Stuff.co.nz
Unflappable Khan takes it all in her stride
By TOBY ROBSON
LAWRENCE SMITH/Fairfax MediaFIRST LOSS: New Zealand's women's pair of Jan Kahn and Manu Timoti have fallen to their first loss of the Commonwealth Games.
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Eye injury throws wrestler into doubt Coombes hails bowls team mates NZ coach frustrated at boxing officials Koudinov sixth in all-around gymnastics Kiwis in action: Day 4 Erakovic into Delhi tennis quarterfinals First loss for NZ women's pair in bowls NZ Greco Roman wrestling hopes all over Rubin Statham on song in Games opener Kiwi weightlifter matches personal best at GamesOther Events
Jan Khan's hairdo isn't quite right.
She reckons the "NZ" stencilled into the back of her head is slightly off centre.
The problem was, her daughter Stacey, a hairdresser, couldn't get up to cut her mum's hair last month because of a snowdrift.
"It's not quite centred, but never mind. I told the guy I need it centred, but whatever," Khan said after walking off the Jawaharlal Sports Complex's No 5 rink last night, not overly concerned by a 7-9, 8-7, 3-2 tiebreak loss to Canada.
A bronze medallist at the last two Games in Manchester and Melbourne, the relaxed 52-year-old is the perfect foil for her young lead, Manu Timoti, chewing gum and media shy.
"We struggled," Khan said. "It [the green] was sweating and I didn't click on to it and it was tracking as well. It was difficult to get the right weight and line.
"But, hey, it's all about the person behind it, it's what's upstairs and both of us went off at the same time, so that was unfortunate.
"We feel really comfortable. We've been going well. I said to Manu, don't worry about this, we've got the afternoon off, so here's an opportunity to take a break, settle down and come back strong tomorrow."
Khan's relaxed personality may be behind her success on Delhi's tricky and variable artificial surface.
While others have tied themselves in knots trying to unravel the variations from rink to rink and green to green, she's got on with the job.
The women's pair are fast shaping as the Black Jacks' best chance of gold, having won four of their opening five matches.
Khan's taking everything in her stride, including the giant eagles that swooped down to dine on the dragonflies and tiny moths that settled on the playing surface during the loss to Canada.
"I've ducked, thinking they were going for my head, but they weren't," she laughed.
"They were after the dragonflies. They chase them, then they swoop in and pluck them right out of the air."
Khan's other secret is the luck of the Irish and the support of her family.
She wears a four leaf clover, which hangs on the silver kiwi necklace her daughter gave her, while there is a pohutukawa badge on her collar, a gift from her late, great bowling mother Millie.
The women's pair will be back in action today against Zambia and the Cook Islands before finishing with a tough stretch against Australia, India and Northern Ireland.
Meanwhile, the men's triple got back on track after their heartbreaking tiebreak loss to South Africa the previous evening.
Skip Richard Girvan's trio made short work of Brunei 10-3, 10-3 to extend their record to three wins and two losses ahead of their afternoon match against Niue.
No2 Shannon McIlroy said every team was trying to work on the pace and line of the greens, which differed depending on the time of day.
The surface was slower in the middle of the day when it was hot, but sped up as the temperature dropped in the evening, he said.
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Thursday, September 30, 2010
Munich 2018 hits jackpot with new sponsor - Insidethegames.biz
!-->21 September 2010
September 21 - Munich 2018 has added to its extensive group of influential backers from the German business community as Lotto Bayern was officially unveiled as a national sponsor of the Bid Committee for the Olympics and Paralympics.
It should ensure that Munich's bid should now reach the whole of Bavaria and beyond, with Lotto Bayern creating awareness among customers at Olympic information points through its close-knit distribution network of 3,800 service points and nine Bavarian casinos.Bernhard Schwank, the chief executive of Munich 2018, was delighted to welcome the company to a portfolio of sponsors that already includes Adidas, BMW and Lufthansa.
He said: "We hope that Lotto Bayern’s four-leaf clover logo will bring us a little luck, and that with this additional backing from German businesses we can achieve our joint goal of hosting the Olympic and Paralympic Winter Games in 2018.
"With the help of the state lottery fund and its 3,800 service points in Bavaria, we hope that Lotto can help to boost the entire state’s excitement for the Winter Games to ensure everyone backs the bid with real enthusiasm."
Lotto Bayern has played an important role as a partner of sport, especially Paralympic sports, for more than 50 years.It was heavily involved in the Summer Olympics in 1972, including providing the financing for the infrastructure of the 1972 Games in Munich.
Every year, €500 million (£427 million/$669 million) of the funds generated by Lotto throughout Germany goes directly to supporting sport.
The deal was announced at a special ceremony attended by, among others, double Olympic gold medallist Katarina Witt, the chairman of Munich 2018 and Erwin Horak, the President of Lotto Bayern.
Horak said: "Lotto Bayern is dedicated to supporting the bid to bring a major sporting event of such global significance to the Bavarian capital and the surrounding region.
"Should Munich be selected to host the Games in 2018, it would provide a long-term stimulus for continual positive growth in many different areas - not just financially, but in sporting and social terms too.
"As a local business, Lotto Bayern would like to wish the Munich 2018 bid the best of luck."
Schwank emphasised the importance of the partners’ shared vision for the Paralympic Movement.He said: "The Munich 2018 Bid Committee’s partnership with Lotto Bayern is founded in part on our common goal of staging the most inclusive Winter Games in Paralympic history.
"Lotto Bayern has been a passionate supporter of barrier free sports for many years, and we are very pleased to be able to draw on their expertise and strong ties to the people of Bavaria."
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Fearne Cotton pictured in Balagan's - Professional Jeweller
Radio 1 DJ and television personality Fearne Cotton has been photographed in Balagan’s lucky four leaf clover necklace, from their Blowing in the Wind collection, in this month’s Look Magazine.
It’s not the first time the delicate piece has found itself in the hands of a celebrity after Sarah Jessica Parker wore it whilst playing the Sex and the City lead role of Carrie Bradshaw.
As previously reported, the collection uses real, hand-picked clovers for each piece with every clover being checked for imperfections and, if it passes inspection, then fitted with an electrical contact point and hand painted with a copper solution.
After drying, the clovers are then placed in an electrolytic solution which has microscopic particles of 24ct gold. The electrical contact attracts the particles of gold and the metal builds up on the clover to form a coating, which preserves even the most intricate and minute surface details.
The clovers are then checked a final time to ensure the process has not magnified any previously unnoticed imperfections, before being approved. The lucky clovers are available in silver or vintage gold finish and can be worn on a 16” or 24” chain.
